Forgiveness is Hard Enough, but is it?

I have been doing a lot of reminiscing and thinking back to situations when I was younger that use to make me mad. No matter what the situation is, I know now we have no control over what and how people react and do things.  Because at the end of any situation in life we always have a choice.

Yes, i said it. A CHOICE. A move we can make.

I am an analyzer, and also a libra lol. So before I make any move I really have to think about situations.

But this isn't about me.  It's more about forgiving yourself after an argument or something you did that hurt another person.

You must be thinking, "Forgiving yourself? Alba don't you mean forgiving the other person that made you upset?"

Well yes, you have to (or choose to) forgive them, but before you forgive them, you MUST really forgive yourself. How can forgiving yourself help you?

Lets first start with letting that tension go.  Getting angry takes away more energy than being happy. Its a fact.  So while your upset about a situation that you can't really control or if its not going the way you planned, you are already wasting your energy mad about it then really trying to solve it or let it go in its own direction.

May sound a little confusing, but observe another fight or situation you or someone else may be in, and you will see! I promise.

I am going to share with you a VERY personal story, that made me feel mad, upset, angry, pissed, sad, ... EVERYTHING.

I was a senior in high school, and graduation was coming up. In about 4-5 days. My class and I were going on senior trips, excited for the big day. That Wednesday our class was going paint balling. While everyone was outside getting their cars ready, some one told me my principal was looking for me. I got called into the principals office to face the worst news of my life (at that moment).

*Mind you,  during my college application phase earlier that year, I literally kept receiving rejection after rejection. No acceptances, but 2 out of my list. I was frustrated and depressed. Seeing all my friends get acceptances while I was getting rejected was probably the hardest. Going to a College Prep school wasn't helping the situation in any way.  I ended up getting a full scholarship to do a gap year in Brazil (which was my life saver at such a down peak). *Happy dance*

But back to the story. My principal told me I wouldn't be graduating with my class (which was 2 days BEFORE graduadtion).  Because of an end of the year research paper in which I failed by TWO points. (I never failed a class in my whole middle-high school life)... I broke down, I pleaded to just walk on the aisle with an empty diploma and make up my paper.

She didn't budge. What I wanted most in my life at the time was my dad to see me cross the stage. He moved to Florida when I was 11 and he was traveling to my hometown, Boston for my graduation. I kid you not, that is all I wanted, to hear the words "I am proud."

I committed to my middle and high school so much; throughout my passion of clubs and any leadership roles I can grasp. And I never failed a class before! Never would I have thought I wouldn't have walked with my class.

The point? Well after that situation, I HATED every teacher in my school that existed. I felt like they looked down on me because:

 a) I wasn't going straight into college
 b) I didn't graduate with my class

I felt like everyone was against me. My parents didn't understand, my family was not really supportive of me going off for a year out of the country. It felt like everything was just going down hill.

But once I left the U.S, I realized I still held a lot of that hate within me. And I kid you not I felt it in my chest like a big ball wanting to just explode. And thats exactly what I did.  I talked about the situation with my friends abroad and just cried. I yelled, I swam in the water to let all that held in energy completely go...FREE. But what really helped me was writing.

I chose to forgive myself, and remind myself that I did nothing wrong. That I am valuable and I am unique. Remind myself, that my path may be the one I hadn't planned, but it sure was going to make me happy no matter what problem came across.

Then little by little I began to forgive everyone else. Not like I told them "I forgive you".  But in my sanctuary place. Where only I knew.  I had truly forgave them and did not keep ahold of any sort of grudge. Didn't happen over night, but over months.

There is always an outlet. You just have to find your own outlet, the one that truly frees you from any sort of negative energy that YOU do not really need in your life to truly be happy.

The challenge is to be aware and consistent with forgiveness. There is always a challenge you can over come.


Peace&Love,

Alba

10 things you can do before sunrise

Many of us complain that we never have enough time in the day to do the things we want. It is very false. We have 24 hours every day to accomplish all that we desire. The difference about 'making time' is you have to sacrifice something to make little changes become stronger.

E.g- If you want to get in shape and work a 9-5 job, knowing you usually are exhausted after work.. maybe you should wake up earlier and work out for at least 15-30 minutes daily. Think about it, these little 15-30 minutes daily can actually impact your body and health by being consistent and pushing yourself just a little bit. It can guide you to a better you.

Here is a list of 10 things me and my sis came up with to do before sunrise. There is no particular order. (And if you don't know when your sunrise is, check the weather guide the day before to plan ahead!)

FYI you can do more than 1 of these things, 5-10 minutes banging out at least three is a good start. No pressure at all, go at your pace, but if you want a change you must start small first.

1) Meditate, some people think you have to meditate for a long period of time, in actuality you can meditate for however long you want. Just be in the moment.
2) Write your thoughts or gratitude in your journal (if you don't have one, get one! Observing where your thoughts are every day can help you turn more to the positive side.)
3) Make a toDAY-do list
4) Read, an interesting book, a new series, anything that interests you and will inspire you to be an awesome YOU!
5) Work out
6) Make breakfast
7) Paint, sketch, doodle anything creative that comes to your finger tips! Adults can be kids too.
8) Take a yoga class (@ Yoga to the people for my New York & Cali people! Check out their site for more info)
9) Reach out to a loved one via email, text, phone and tell them you appreciate them in your life, let them know they are not alone, and wish them a beautiful blessed day.
10) Prepare your meal for the day. Wanting to save money but find yourself not having enough time to make your lunch the day before, do it the morning!

Look into my eyes..not the Ground

Hey Guys!



So sorry I haven't written to you guys in a week, to me it feels like years! lol.. still trying to make this fit into my schedule since I have no wi-fi at home :(  ! Anyways hope you guys ended the month of January very well, and have started February on a great start! 


Todays topic is going to be one that has came to mind almost everyday while I ride the subway here in New York. Lets be honest here, when you get on the train or bus what do you automatically do?  Look for a seat, find one, sit down, and take out you're phone, book, or magazine? I mean we all do it, or just go to sleep because you woke up either too early or its late from coming out of work. For me, riding the subway is time for me to get an inspirational or spiritual awakening to start off my day in a positive mood. (Most of the times or read). But as an actress and as a normal human being I love to observe people.  I mean we all are so different.  Not just shape, size, and color.  But in the way that we all behave of course.  


People rarely look at each other on the subway. Why?  My personal opinion is the feeling when you make eye contact with someone.  The possibilities of what they might think just because you were looking at them.  Do they think I think they are cute? Or do they think I want to fight them, or if they are being annoying and they need to stop talking so much, or walking up and down the train cart like they own the place?  

See what I mean? the possibilities are so very endless. When we feel some type of discomfort we automatically look down and try to go into our own worlds so that no one can bother us.  It's just natural instinct. 

But what most of us are forgetting and cutting off is the exciting world that surrounds us.  Everyday you can discover something new just by watching someones reaction. I don't mean on the creeper status either guys! I mean nowadays technology takes away from our daily interacting physically, and our moment to just be in the moment and not in our "busy social life".  That can only be fun to a certain extent.  For me after a while, I get headaches from looking down on my iPhone for so  long and my neck starts hurting. And lets face it the train seats are not very comfortable!  I get so aggravated myself because even if I dont have service underground I'm still looking for something to do or find because I think I am bored.  But boredom is simply a choice of wanting to do something interesting. And if you guys don't believe me here is the definition I pulled out from google: 

bored  

/bôrd/

Adjective Feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one's current activity

I mean who am I to tell you what to do on your spare time traveling from place to place right?  I just want to suggest to you all, that technology is not the only thing that is fun.  Remember when you were a kid?  You actually rode a bike? or went to the park, colored in a coloring book, went sledding, played board games, actually cared about carrying cool conversations with friends. I mean sheesh there is so much more to humanity than just going on Facebook or Twitter all the time when you are "bored"  All you gotta do is look up and discover. Try it some time!

Peace& love,

Alba